Hani, a Palestinian from Gaza who is stranded in Cairo

Before the war in Gaza started in October 2023, Hani* (28) was working for a community-based organisation helping young people. He visited his parents each day, went to the gym and spent time with his friends in the evenings. By chance, Hani was visiting friends on a holiday in Egypt when the war started. He became stranded overnight, unable to return to his family. He’s had to watch from afar as his family have been forced to relocate multiple times to escape the endless bombardments. Communication has been challenging, and he only manages to have short snatches of conversation with them. His mother cries when she speaks to him, saying it’s been such a long time since she’s seen him. They try to hide the living conditions from Hani, but he knows they’re horrid. He knows water is only available one to two times a week, that food is scarce, and healthcare and medications are hard to come by. His little brother Ahmed* – who is 16 – is no longer a child playing with his friends in the street and finishing his exams, but a child who has been forced to become an adult and take on many responsibilities to help his family survive. Hani wants to go back to them. He knows it’s madness to want to return to a war zone, but as the oldest son, he feels the responsibility to protect his family. And he cannot protect them while he’s in Cairo. But his family refuse. They tell him they take comfort in knowing at least one member of their family will survive. They tell him no one can withstand what’s happening in Gaza. There have been days when Hani hasn’t been able to get out of bed, days when he didn’t want to see or speak to anyone. He was safe while his family were in so much danger, and the guilt was overwhelming. Hani says his mental health has been severely impacted by the situation, especially since the attacks on Rafah intensified in early May 2024 and he lost contact with his family when they were forced to flee yet again. Hani knows Save the Children from his work with community-based organisations in Gaza, so when he saw some of our team members in Cairo, he approached them and asked about volunteer opportunities. Hani knew he couldn’t directly help people in Gaza, but he could help other Palestinians who had fled the war and were now in Cairo too, suffering a similar anguish to him. Hani now volunteers most days, taking calls on Save the Children’s hotline and connecting Palestinian families in Egypt with the services and support they need. He also joins other volunteers in doing quality control checks on Save the Children aid bound for Gaza. Hani says the volunteering has provided him with a sense of relief and purpose. Now, each day, he gets out of bed early and meets people and helps to support other people in a similar situation to him. Sacha Myers / Save the Children

I am safe and they are not - The anguished reality of a Palestinian in Egypt

4 min read

24 May 2024 Egypt

Blog by Hani*

A Palestinian from the Gaza strip and is currently living in Cairo, Egypt

An anguished account by a young Palestinian that is stranded in Cairo whilst his family is enduring the war in Gaza.

For a long time, I was hiding in my room. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. The guilt that I was safe in Egypt while my entire family was in Gaza – displaced and desperate for food and water – was unbearable.

I had gone to Egypt for a holiday and to see friends in Cairo. While I was away, the war started, and I became stranded overnight.

Through brief phone conversations with my family over the past 219 days of war, I’ve followed their treacherous journey as they’ve fled from city to city, from house to house, trying to outrun the bombs.

They’re attempting to hide the situation from me, to protect me from the horrors they’re experiencing, but they really cannot hide it anymore. I know most people are living in tents. The living conditions are awful, even in a tent or in a house. I know water is only available one to two times a week at most, that food is scarce in the markets, and healthcare and medications are almost impossible to find.

THE SITUATION IN GAZA IS CATASTROPHIC. CHILDREN HAVE NOWHERE SAFE TO GO. YOUR SUPPORT IS URGENTLY NEEDED.

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There’s no electricity and there’s cuts all the time. To communicate, they have to go a very long distance to charge their phones and to get network coverage. The internet is also unreliable, and it makes communication hard. It always takes several steps before I manage to reach them.

What’s hit me hardest is the change in my youngest brother, Ahmed*, who is 16. Before the war, he was preparing for school exams and mapping out his career path. He was playing with other kids in the street and gaming with his friends, just like any normal child his age.

I asked for a photo of him, and it took a long time before my family had enough connection to send it. I was shocked when I saw the photo. The war has changed him, and he’s lost a lot of weight. He’s taken on a large amount of responsibility to provide for the family and to support them. It’s too much responsibility for a child who should be in school. This war has added 10 years to the age of every child in Gaza.

I want to go back to my family. I know it’s madness to want to return to a war zone, but as the oldest son, I feel the responsibility to protect my family. And I cannot protect them while I’m in Cairo. But my family refuses. They tell me they take comfort in knowing at least one member of their family will survive. They tell me no one can withstand what’s happening in Gaza.

I’m struggling with my mental health. I’m not afraid to say this. I’m just one of many Palestinians in Egypt who struggle with the enormous guilt of being safe, and the endless fear about what will happen to our loved ones. It’s a special kind of anguish that eats at you and never leaves you.

The past weeks have been some of the hardest times. My family was sheltering in Rafah – along with more than 1 million other Palestinians – when the Israeli forces intensified attacks on the city and issued relocation orders for civilians.

My family fled, along with thousands of other people fleeing to already crowded areas where resources are almost non-existent. I lost contact with them for a number of days, and the panic I felt was unbearable. I eventually heard from them, and I cannot describe the relief I felt.

Hani* (28) is a Palestinian volunteer with Save the Children in Egypt. Sacha Myers / Save the Children Sacha Myers / Save the Children

I also get a sense of relief from volunteering with Save the Children. I can’t directly support anyone in Gaza, but I can take an active role in helping people from Gaza who are now in Cairo. I know what they’re going through, so I know what support they need. Helping them makes me feel useful, and it gives me a purpose. Now, each morning, I get up early and go out and meet people and help people. I don’t stay in bed unable to face the day.

We have a saying in Gaza: “we shall rebuild.” I hope this for my country and my people. I hope for everyone to be reunited with their families. I hope I’ll be reunited with my family too.

I can’t wait to be back in Gaza, and for my mum to be calling me on the phone, telling me to come home from work and to have dinner with my family.